I titled my blog “Worn out Women” (note: original blog title before it was rebranded in 2017) because many of friends and I lament about how simple things turn into ordeals and it just wears us out. Case in point: I wanted a chair and an ottoman. I shopped around until I found a chair and ottoman that would work.
Sept 18, 2014: Using American Express points (because I am a points diva), and an online code for a 10% discount, I order the chair and ottoman I have carefully selected in Everyday Suede – Metal Gray. I order a large ottoman so that my 55 pound Australian Shepherd who think he is a lap dog, will have a place large enough for his hairy butt to sit without crushing me. Custom orders (I am so special!) take 10 to 12 weeks – so I receive an estimated delivery date of Nov 20th. I sell the current furniture for a whopping $40 in the neighborhood garage sale.
October 30th: My chair arrives! Early! Surely my ottoman is not far behind.
Late November: Checking the handy online statuses, the estimated shipping date for the ottoman changes three times, and keeps moving later and later. Emails and phone calls.
January 2nd (15 weeks after order date): The large box arrives! Joy! I carefully open the box to find an Everyday Suede, Metal Gray, ottoman, the correct size, but with completely different feet than the chair. I go to my email of my original order to be sure I am not crazy. The picture clearly shows matching dark wood, square feet, not light wood, round “bun-style” feet.
The emails and phone call ensue. They are so sorry! they will make me another ottoman immediately! It will take about 8 weeks. Meanwhile “enjoy” the wrong ottoman they tell me. They obviously pictured a lot more fun happening on it than I did.
Feb 10th (20 weeks since order): Another large box arrives. FINALLY! And I open the box, glowing with anticipation, to find another Everyday Suede, Metal Gray ottoman. This one has been packed by an apparently drunk, blind factory worker late on a Friday afternoon, as it has been crammed in a reused box, not covered, and top of the ottoman permanently marked by the inside of the top of the box. And as I pull it out, I am sure the neighbors heard the expletives fly. Large, light wood, bun-style feet. Just like the ottoman sitting in the living room, that is wrong. I now have two ottomans, each slightly smaller than a Buick, that are NOT WHAT I ORDERED.
I email the customer service representative who has been helping me. You cannot call him because “he is virtual” and does not have a number. I inform him in this email:
“Please send me up the ladder. You have been great, but apparently the problem is bigger than the scope of influence to which you have been empowered. In other words, this is bullsh*t – send me to someone with a title and reputation to lose.”
Calls and emails fly. It occurs to me if I had decided to get fertilized instead of ordering a chair and ottoman I would have a fully formed fetus instead. I could have grown an entire person in the time Pottery Barn has failed to send me the ottoman I ordered.
Pottery Barn asks me if I want a different ottoman, and explain to me as if I am an idiot, demanding customer, that the real problem now is that they do not make the one I ordered anymore.
I explode. YOU MADE IT WHEN I ORDERED IT SIX MONTHS AGO. And honestly, if I had not kept the email with the picture, they would have never believed me. You can Google the model number I ordered all day, and no evidence that they ever made this ottoman can be found. They cannot seem to fill my order, but they can WIPE THE INTERNET CLEAN of its existence. Why is my ottoman in witness protection? Do they have homeland security running their damn IT department? Maybe the IT department COULD FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET ME MY F%^^&*&^ing OTTOMAN.
So now, they predict on April 14th (29 weeks since order), I will receive the correct feet, and then they will send someone to install them on the ottoman. If you see a mushroom cloud over Cypress, Texas in mid-April as least now you will know why.
(Update: After tweeting about my frustration, Pottery Barn issued me a full refund for the chair and ottoman, and allowed me to keep them both. Kudos to Pottery Barn for stepping up and making the situation right.)
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