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My Life Between Coffee and Wine

Humor from the Home Front

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EVELYN AUCOIN

Evelyn Aucoin

humor

We start margarita education early down here in Texas, y’all

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Many years ago when my boys were toddlers, we were loaned a margarita machine to use for a party. We thought it was prudent to borrow it a weekend early, so we could figure out how to use it, and test different mixes / ratios of mix and tequila. Luckily, we had a friend come over on a Friday night who volunteered to help us with the test drive.

Well, the test drive went so well he ended up spending the night on the couch. Let’s just say he was not in any condition for bacon and eggs Saturday morning. He would periodically step into the back yard for some “fresh air” and my three year old, Corwin, asked what was wrong, and I gave some non-specific answer and then promptly changed the subject.

The following week..

I take the kids into day care one morning, and as we start to walk into the building, Corwin barfs all over the sidewalk and entry mat. As I apologize, put the one-year-old down, and start to clean up, Corwin’s teacher walks up, bends over to comfort him and says, “I’m so sorry Corwin that you’re not feeling well.” Corwin doesn’t miss a beat, looks up with his big blue eyes, and shakes his head as he explains, “Oh Miss Caroline, I think I had too many margaritas.”

Since that three-year-old is now a freshman in college, I think I can safely assume the statute of limitations for CPS to come investigate me based on this statement has expired. If not, well I guess I know what I should serve when they show up. Salt or no salt? Frozen or on the rocks?

Buckle up, here we go..

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My entire adult life, I have entertained my friends, co workers and family with stories. They even periodically make requests – “Evelyn, tell us the story again about how your son wiped his butt on the couch…” is probably a top 10 request.

Several girl night outs have included the rumination about eventually putting these stories to text, and eventually “writing that book” that I have talked about for 20 years. I run into a friends I haven’t seen since my days at Enron (yes, that Enron) and they ask “Did you write that book yet?”.

I want to finally tell them yes.

So this blog is a way to get my stories out there, and be a platform for my gift of storytelling.

As I have told my stories over the years, my most rewarding moment is when I get text messages like:

“Thank you, I feel so much better.”

“My sides still hurt.”

“I will never be able to look at your couch the same way again.”

Life is hard.

Rearing children is hard. Being a wife, mom, professional accountant and then management consultant and business owner is stressful. Many days there seems to be nothing funny about it.

We all need to laugh, and we can use the gift of finding humor in a moment, to be in that moment with ease. To connect with our kids, husband, friend, co-worker, or pet. I want to help women everywhere, who share my sarcastic, irreverent view of the “normal” (whatever the hell that is) to find a reason to giggle or smile. And maybe let go of the stress, just a little.

I am a 45 year-old Christian, native Texan, married for 24 years (yes – child bride), mother of two boys, 18 and 16 (so no, I didn’t ‘have’ to get married), Aggie, with deep southern white trash roots, minister’s daughter, CPA, former Enron employee, yoga enthusiast, business partner, public speaker, artist, genealogist, and budding author. Welcome to my little corner of the internet.